Sometimes it seems to you that at least 5 different characters get along in you? It is possible that it is. And it makes sense to get to know more closely with them. We tell you how exactly.

“Diesel-Electronic train arrives on the first path!”

Waiting on the platform. The desired car always stops in this place. There are few people. They hold bouquets, peer tense into the distance and smile. And then a train appears, hello from the brothers Lumier. Puffs of steam and smoke. Ring of the brakes. The conductor opens the door, wipes the outer handle, and my people begin to go out ..

The first is a fat lady in a white hat, about 35 years old. Dress with Eggs and Lilac stumps with large flowers. Round face, blonde, folds on the neck, several chin, a preoccupied look. Wipes a smoking neck with a handkerchief. Hung with handbags, bags and suitcases.

The second is a Catholic priest, 27 years old. Thin, tall, round glasses. Black Sutana, small bag. Looking at the steps absentmindedly. He is pushed by the next … third. Hockey player, 29 years old. In sports uniform, with a huge Baul. Unshaven, without a tooth, a bruise under the eye, squints from bright light, dry lips, possibly from a hangover. Pushing the priest, stops on the platform. Smokes. The priest leaves.

Number 4. A boy of about seven. In Panama, shorts and striped T-shirt, a la sailor. Scared. Bewildered, waiting for someone. Probably mom.

5. Man, 40 years old. Gray suit, back hair, baldness, inconspicuous appearance, can be both an accountant and a hired killer. A la Heroes Billy Bob Thornton. Quickly merges with the crowd, leaves.6. Suddenly a small green leg appears from the carriage (like a crocodile), then the face. This is Varan. Huge. As a man. Very scary. The bifurcated tongue flies out of the mouth. The leash pulls back from the neck back-someone leads it … The owner’s hand is in the glove ..

7. This is a clown. Age and half are uncertain. In makeup and colorful clothes. Smiles a glued smile. Working for public, stops for a moment in the doorway, as before going to the arena. Suddenly sharply, hissing sounds gives some commands to Varan, who pulls him aside, and now he smiles again.

The boy, like Hari from Solaris, came before, I also remembered the priest, the rest of the characters were new. I started to leave the trance.

I do this exercise with many clients. Today there was a need to make it for yourself. In each of us and in me, there are a lot of fervent creatures. These are the so -called sublime. A convenient psychotherapeutic metaphor that allows you to name, see, establish a dialogue and work with a variety of personal roles existing in humans. Classical subpersonalities: inner child, man, woman, adult, parent, etc.D. – Pretty sulfur and dull. It seems to me that and long -term practice shows that these roles are much larger, they are brighter and sophisticated more than the above. But, in general, they all do some work for us. Sometimes protect, sometimes forced to hide or fight. And in different periods of time, being in interaction, arguing with each other, depending on our state or external circumstances, some of the submarines dominate, take on leadership. At this moment, they are able to motivate behavior and determine the external manifestations of our actions.

For example, I have a look, speech, voice, intonation, posture, gait, clothing, thoughts … After all, the behavior of a “hockey player” differs from the behavior of a “priest”, is it not so?

Subtyness, for me, these are masks in which I present to the world. Each of them allows you to more or less successfully solve social problems. I can be highly spiritual, like a Catholic priest, “preach” and rejoice at my own enlightenment or to hardly go to clashes, like a hockey player, to be vulnerable, like a little boy, and inconspicuous, like Billy Bob Thornton, animals, like a varan, and t.D. The key word “how”.

It is convenient to hide behind them so as not to be yourself. Some masks stick. Forget where they came from. Other people’s stereotypes imposed by education, social norms, all these “boy” deeds, “male” actions, “adult” behavior … What does this have to do with me?

about the author

Vladimir Dashevsky, psychotherapist, coach

When I turn into one of my usual characters, I become only part of myself, that is, I cease to be 100%. That is, by 15%, or at 20, or at 5 – it does not matter. I play a role. There are a lot of such roles in my life. When I write these lines, I am a psychotherapy-journalist who wants

to convey the idea as intelligibly and vividly as possible, so he selects words, invents metaphors, puts on a huge reality a small limiting frame that is currently necessary.

The same in the psychotherapeutic office, on the football field, the set, with friends or close people – I am only part of myself, especially if I put on a mask.

As soon as I call myself someone, I’m lying.

– Hello, I am Vladimir Dashevsky, psychotherapist.

Deception! I am not only a psychotherapist, but also a man, director, friend, coach, father, etc.D. It turns out that when I associate myself with one of my subpersonalities, I narrow myself and my own capabilities many times. What is I?

Again, part of the truth. The name given by parents, thanks to them for this. But not me.

Human? Yes, but somehow somehow. I would narrow (quoting).

I am the one who meets diesel-electrical train every time. I am one who cannot call myself. I am the one who does not know the pronoun “I”. The one who observes and smiles, looking at all this shabet communal apartment. The one that is able to love. Both yourself and other communal services, although sometimes there is a desire to finally resettle everyone once and for all.

In the state of the trance, negotiations are managed between subpersonality. Some of their own hypostases is very difficult to accept. But, one way or another, each of them is part of the whole, and each is important. It is impossible to just get rid of her. Sometimes, having completed some kind of work only to them, they leave themselves. You look, and after six months on the platform, this character is no longer there.

And the ideal option is when the train arrives empty and meets anyone on the platform.

P. S. Or maybe I am the one who observes the meeting?

How to do the exercise “Dialogue with subpersonality”?

Technique “Dialogue with sublime” is used in Erickson hypnosis for diagnostic and therapeutic purposes for rapid access to the source of the problem in the treatment of post -traumatic stress disorders, borderline conditions, depressions, phobias, psychosomatic disorders, etc.D. In the state of a trance, the client can speak on behalf of each of his own subpersonalities. Sequentially he answers the questions: “Who are you? How old are you? What are you doing for me? What do you protect from? What are you afraid of? What you want?”And t.D. The therapist receives quick and direct access to hidden and/or supplanted experiences and can effectively build a strategy for subsequent therapy. In addition, it is possible to work out an intrapersonal conflict in a trance, allowing subpersonalities to “speak” with each other, synthesize the fragmented parts into a single whole.

On one’s own. You can, having settled down as comfortable as possible, close your eyes and focus on your own breath for several minutes, feel how the air enters and leaves the lungs. Then, for a few moments, think about what is bothering today and imagine a safe place in which you could relax, and mentally put a soft and comfortable chair there. After a few moments, having settled in this chair, you can imagine the “station”, “airport”, “waiting room”, any other place in which people come. And allow yourself to watch arriving characters. There can be from three to nine. The main thing is not to wait for anyone to be specific, respect all those who come and do not evaluate them. In itself, acquaintance with your own subpersonality can have a therapeutic effect for you. Then at your own pace, in a calm mode, allow yourself to return to the usual wakeful state. Further actions are best performed with a qualified psychotherapist.